Well, sort of. I'm going home, so to speak. ^^;


standinsunshine

levelthree, I have a weird question. I know you've mentioned LARPing and V:tM is in your interests so maybe you can shed some light on the situation. My boyfriend and his buddies are working on putting a White Wolf tabletop game together, and my boy's character is an Assamite. We've scoured the internet and came up blank, but... do you know what the clan's symbol means? Does an explanation/meaning even exist?

Granted, it's a minor detail in the grand scheme of things, but he's curious, and now he's got me on the hunt too. I've checked some websites and came up with nothing. So I'm starting to think we're on a wild goose chase, but it never hurts to ask! ^^;

We're already talking Halloween around here. This past year Kent went as Urahara from Bleach - believe me, I wish I had pictures. LOL! October 31st was a rushed day for us between finding out that Autumn was indeed a little girl and rushing home so he could get a few hours of work in. That dye job will live in infamy however. -_- I already threatened his life if he dared to bring another box of blonde dye in my house again. Now he's playing around with the idea of going as Kenpachi. He mentioned growing his hair out to his shoulders in order to make those insane spikes.

*facepalm*

However, I encourage such behavior with the things I say. "If you dress up as Kenny, I'll dress Autumn as Yachiru." Cute, y/y? She'll be a little over seven months then. The costume would be fairly simple.

I really should be doing housework while the baby's asleep. Motivation, I has none. Of course, that could also be: Tide, I has none. lol!

O HAI GUISE, I HAS A BAYBEE NAO!

Giving birth is one of those experiences that I'm glad(?) I had, but once was more than enough for me. lol! I was indeed induced on Friday the 14th. Well, sort of? I wasn't dilated on Thursday, so Dr. Booth sent me home with orders to be back at the hospital the next day at 5 p.m. to start Cervadil. Basically it thins your cervix. It might put you into labor, and it might just do enough to get the dilating started. It apparently depends from woman to woman. Want to know what it did to me?

Put me into labor.

( Long birth story ahead. )

So here I am with a one week old daughter, and I still have my moments of "Holy shit, do I really have a kid?" Those are usually followed by moments of "OMGWHYWONTSHESTOPCRYING?! *krikri*" lol! But this parent thing, it's not so bad. I hope to have a better relationship with her than I had/have with my mother, but I'm a girl - I know that a lot of times Daddy gets center stage in her world, and that's okay. She has an amazing one.

So the tl;dr version goes:

Autumn Elizabeth
Born March 15, 2008, at 2:30 p.m.
8 pounds 4 ounces, 22 inches long

^^;

I totally forgot about the time change last night. Kent and I went to bed at like... 10 p.m. and didn't fix the clock. I think he was late for work this morning. Oops. ^^; I slept through Death Note and Bleach. Thank God they repeat on Monday.

Two insulin shots in the book. Egad, is that a nerve wracking situation. I'm sure it'll become completely natural before too long, but now I'm always afraid something's going to go wrong. It is working though. Both of my post meal numbers were under 110. Hell, they were under 100. I don't feel any different though. My pre-meal numbers were higher than they were supposed to be though. Oops. I'm working on it, damnit. Rome wasn't built in a day. ^^;

Kent's having a fit though. He doesn't approve of this at all. He keeps trying to convince me that they're only pushing the issue to soak Medicaid and that I don't have to do it. Well, no, true. I don't have to. But I am doing it because I want my baby to be okay and labor to go smoothly. I've said this. I had a growth ultrasound done Wednesday, Autumn's clocking it at an estimated 5 pounds 2 ounces so far. According to what I've read, she's supposed to be about 4 pounds, so yeah, she IS a little bigger than what she should be, but no that much.

By the way, have I mentioned that in between all the losing and gaining and losing again that total weight put on during pregnancy has been EIGHT FREAKING POUNDS? Yay me. I shot up 20+ pounds right before my last appointment, but in the two weeks time lapse between it and my last one, it all came off. It had to be all of that fluid I was carrying. Stuff is still a little pudgy, but not like it was. Not at all like it was. I'm so happy because I was miserable. Eight pounds and five of it (supposedly) is baby.

I go back on the 7th and see my OB. Who's doing an ultrasound. Then I go back on the 13th to the diabetes center. Who's doing an ultrasound. I know they're monitoring her growth and weight, but egad, people. Does my kid need that much radiation? lol! Hopefully Dr. Booth's crew will actually show me the kid and hopefully give me new pictures, because the Perinantal Center chick did NOT. I have a real issue with female medical staff; maybe it's just me, but every one I deal with seems to be so cold hearted. That is until I start sobbing, then they turn human. LOL Sigh, hormones.

I slept through the last hour of Impact last night. It doesn't seem like I missed much though. I'm going to watch the replay though, I didn't get to tape it last night. See what happens when you actually get up in the morning and don't nap? You fall asleep at 10! ^^; I really wish I weren't awake now, but I had a bad dream and remembered I didn't have that snack like I was supposed to. Yeah, my solution is eating yogurt at 5 a.m. But omg, bad dream. Kent taking another woman out and being completely non-chalant about it! This makes three times now, damnit.

One of these days I'll post the For Better or For Worse comic I have saved dealing with the cheating husband dreams. But LJ's a bitch sometimes.

Being an adult sucks sometimes. Bill time to be specific.

However, with the exception of the last half of the electricity bill, everything's paid up. That includes my student loans. I realized that I can make payments online, and that tickles me pink. I hate mailing shit in - I can never remember to do it. Although I'm appalled by Appalachian Power, as I am every month when they charge you another three bucks to pay your bill. It's three bucks, no big deal, but none of the other services do it. It's not like they don't jack your bill up in the winter anyway, they have to squeeze all they can out of you. Bastards. -.-

I sound like a ranty Wal*mart customer. lol!

I am STILL congested. It's been almost two weeks, and I'm really tired of not being able to breathe properly. It's bad enough that I run out of breath quickly from being pregnant, but now I'm stuffed up to boot. The baby hasn't been moving around that much either since I became sick/my sinuses started draining/WHATEVERTHEHELLISWRONGWITHME. And that bothers me. I had to reschedule my doctor's appointment this week because of weather, but I go this upcoming Thursday. So I'll ask then, in addition to that whole getting my tubes tied thing I was curious about.

Which leads me to my next point. Why do people assume that I'm going to want more kids after I have Autumn? I didn't want any, at all, ever. Things change, and that's fine. But after her, I'm done. Kent doesn't want another either. So, of course, the logical thing to do is get fixed, whether he does it or I do or both of us. Yet, everybody's all "you'll change your mind" or "she'll need a playmate." No, I won't, and she has two cousins, a girl and a boy, who will be just be a little more than a year older than her. She'll have playmates her age, in addition to other family members, pets, future friends, etc. So don't give me that. I even had a woman I work with, who only wanted ONE kid herself, tell me I'll change my mind. WTF, mate? Shouldn't she understand where I'm coming from above anybody else?

I want Sesshomaru's ability to control children. "Stop it." "*stops it immediately*"

I'm having an utter 'what the fuck?' moment currently. I read through a lot of snark communities, mostly dealing with stupid pregnant ladies and stupid parents. I did check out stupid_free and there was something from a childfree community posted. This to be exact.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm disturbed by these people.

To be honest, Kent and I had considered ourselves to be childfree. There's a difference in childless and childfree. Neither of us wanted to have kids, and we were perfectly content with the idea of it just being the two of us and a few animals. Of course, a lack of control and being lax with condoms after I ran out of patches lead to my becoming pregnant with Autumn. Paths in life have a tendency to change, and it's all good.

Of course, this pre-baby phase never included this kind of extreme behavior. We simply didn't want kids. I don't call parents "breeders" or anything of that nature. So you've chosen not to reproduce, I'm cool with that, but is acting like an utter retard when it comes to that choice really necessary?

My dad called earlier. He's home from work due to my stepmom having a bit of a car accident the day before. The truck's okay, and she is too essentially, just really sore and shaken up. Some jackass ran her off the road from what I gathered. So he stayed home to pet her; I wonder if Kent would do that. He probably would, I'm sure. But beyond that, Dad asked if anybody had offered to buy the baby a car seat, and I told him no. The kid has a tricycle and a Fur Real pony but no car seat. Go figure. ^^; But he said, "If anybody asks, you tell them that Papaw is buying it." I'm still kind of floored, and that was like three hours ago. It just caught me off guard, I guess. When I first got pregnant, he seemed so indifferent, but my dad has to take his own time to kind of adjust and accept things.

Considering our family is only six people big (Dad&Tammy, Freda&Dana, Kent&I), this baby really adds new life. For a long time, I figured I was the end of the line. The Wilson name does end with me though, Autumn will be a Dempsey, but it's the same way with Kent. He's the last male Dempsey, Autumn extends the line a little more.

Christmas is less than a week away, and it doesn't seem like it should be here already. I suppose I'm used to working in retail where the Christmas season drags on for the next 80 years of my life, or so it seems. I'm off until Saturday then it'll just be the weekend and Monday then I'm off for four more! I am almost finished with my shopping though. I have Jimmy Ray and Mom left to buy for, but I want to buy Kent something else. He already has four presents (two of which I need to wrap before he comes home from work!), but I don't know, I want to get him something else. I'm yet to figure out what.

I was considering taking my leave once Christmas is over, but for the next two weeks, I'm only scheduled for three days. I have holiday pay coming on both weeks, for Christmas and New Year's Day. I told my department manager that if they keep my schedule reduced like that, then I can make it working a while longer. BUT only if the new chick actually stays. Lisa has been super good to me, and I'd never want to leave her in a lurch. I wonder if I could actually work through February.

I own actual maternity clothes now. My mom bought an outfit for me. I tried it on, and I looked pregnant. For like the first time during this entire stint, I really looked like there was a baby in there. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm not exactly thrilled about looking bigger, but... it's different because it's baby big, not fat big. Maybe if I had been showered and wearing a bra, lol!, then I would have felt a little better about the situation.

Of course, Gauge immediately comes in and takes up roost on my new clothes. Must smell like kitty at all times.

I had intentions on doing laundry, I should probably start that. I'm so tired of stuff just being everywhere. I guarantee it'll never get all finished, but I'm saying right here, right now that I want it to! Towels first. If only I could teach Gauge how to fold we could totally do all the laundry! I hate folding. >.> I do it all day at work, I really don't want to do it at home.

I found the InuYasha picture I had been wanting for the baby's room. Turns out it wasn't in the manga/anime after all, someone had drawn it. I found it on deviantart. It's really precious. Baby!InuYasha makes me squishy on the inside. It's sad really. ^^;

Okay, time to be productive!

OMGELECTRICITY. I started writing, and ZAP! went the power. It was just a quick thing, but now my cable's off. -_- Sigh, the pains of living in a shitty area. I'm not entirely sure how those two things are related, but considering the current situation, it doesn't surprise me.

I was saying that today seems like a good day to stay home in bed. I thought I was going to die yesterday waiting for 11 p.m. to roll around so I could clock out and come home. Am I really supposed to be cool with not being able to stand up straight? The back and hips pain has really made pregnancy suck so far. My mom's all, "Take Tylenol! Take Tylenol!" And I just refuse. Maybe that's stupidity on my behalf, I don't know. I think just because it's a suggestion from her that I'm rebelling so hard. I'm suffering in the long run, but I also believe it won't help. So doesn't that knock the chances of it actually doing so down?

I'm having an internal debate now on whether or not I should go to work. Do I really feel bad enough? The weather's currently on its way to atrocious, outside the super cold wind, but I'm not overly concerned with that. Is it sad I'm basing my choice on my lack of cable? After all, the Survivor finale is tonight, and if this thing isn't fixed, then I can't see it anyway. Could I get any lamer?

I was screened for gestational diabetes Wednesday. I had been dreading that test, what with not being allowed to eat then being expected to choke down a horrendous drink. Amazingly, it wasn't that bad. It sort of tasted like orange Jell-O with a funny taste at the end. I'm assuming all went well because they never called to inform me I was dying or anything. I've had a lot of fears throughout this pregnancy, thanks to Mommy Dearest. I swear she's just as bad as my grandma, panicking over everything. She talks to people who have had the same issues I have and finds out they were faced with more cysts/bedrest/WHATEVER. Then of course, those fears are dropped on me. When in reality, I'm okay. The back pain really has been the worst part (and isn't that bad enough?).

I know every chick is different, but being pregnant hasn't been what I expected. That's not a bad or a good thing, just a fact. Like, there's been no insane cravings. At first, all I wanted was grilled cheese sandwiches and pickles, not necessarily at the same time, but those two particular foods have always been a staple of my diet. I'm miffed that McDonald's ice cream doesn't taste the same currently though. There's been little to no barfing, although the nausea hits me from time to time. Usually at work. Yes, Autumn, I hate Wal*Mart too. ^^; No swollen ankles. No heartburn. Maybe I'm getting off easy on the other stuff. Or they haven't hit in full force yet.

I do still have 14-ish more weeks to go.

The middle name mystery continues. The boy won't decide on one! If he has any ideas, I wish he'd say so or else I'm going to take his naming privileges away. Mom's ideas are horrible as always. She wanted me to change the baby's name to Alexis. Uh no. Unless she intends to be a professional wrestler or go on Dynasty, then I think we'll stick with Autumn. I also can't get her to understand that we don't want to name her after anybody so stop harping on about the Leigh. "You're both (Kent and I) named after your dads! So you should name her Leigh, then she can name her baby Leigh..." Whoa, nelly. Yes, we are named after our dads, and in case you haven't noticed, neither of us are fans. Plus, hello? Stop talking about my grandkids, the kid herself isn't even here yet. I'm still leaning towards Autumn Elizabeth, but I'm also down with Autumn Paige and Autumn Star(r?). Which... kind of makes her sound like she should be competing in the PCS and wearing huge earrings. ^.^

HA! CBS almost works.

Meh, should I stay or should I go? I suppose I should shower and get ready, since I don't feel like a turkey wishbone currently. Stupid guilty conscience.

An attempt to clear myself from the clutter that is rebgurly . The journal's a good five years old, so I don't think it's such a horrible thing to try on something new. Especially since I'm looking to fill these 'pages' with pregnancy adventures and motherhood moments in the future.

Feel free to read along. Real entries will follow soon.